Rhythm Encounters

I have no rhythm.

Well, I have some, but it's not a very big portion. God gave most of my rhythm to someone else. (I feel like I've written that before....Ah, yes, here it is)

Despite my lack of innate rhythmic ability, I often find myself tapping my toes to the beat of whatever music I am listening to. I have even been known to do a little hand drumming on a desk or table from time to time. I once accidentally started tapping my foot to a song while I was driving my car, which proved to be very dangerous as I quickly discovered I am rhythmically right-footed as well as right-handed. I have found steering-wheel drumming is a much safer alternative when driving.

All that to say, I know what it's like when rhythm just kind of sneaks out of you. It needs an outlet. I'm even guilty of a little bit of quiet pew-drumming during church (where all the music is acapella). It just happens.

But I saw a boy the other day who opened the floodgates of his rhythm reservoir in his car. It was like watching a drumming maniac pilot the vehicle directly behind me on the highway.

He took rhythmic expression to a whole new level. We are talking a full steering-wheel drum set, complete with several imaginary symbols. Not to mention some intense headbanging.

With my recently confessed need for a rhythm release of my own, I must say I salute this young lad for keeping the beat.

BUT with my not so recent concern for personal safety and protection of my lovely car, I must say, "KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU DRUMMING LUNATIC."

Marital Encounters

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

Not really.

But everyone else I know is, and I thought the title of this post might confuse some people. So in typical Erin fashion, I would much rather perpetuate confusion than clear it up. My (not-so) sincere apologies.

Seriously though, I heard a story on the TODAY show yesterday (kinda fun to say, "Yesterday, on TODAY...") and it was about marriage. Exciting right? The thing about this story was that it was entitled, "Can Your Marriage Survive an Affair?"

Seriously. SERIOUSLY. What is the world coming to? Are we supposed to expect unfaithfulness in marriage now? This story didn't highlight ways to keep marriage healthy, or even how to prevent or discover cheating spouses, it was all about making sure your marriage could survive a cheating spouse. That's the goal, people. Your marriage is only healthy if it can survive an affair.

Color me old-fashioned, but I thought marriage was all about being with ONE person for the rest of your life. Maybe I'm living in a fairy tale, but when I hear the word marriage I think of things like commitment, faithfulness, promises, sacrifice...MONOGAMY.

Guess I should take my place in the knitting room with all the grannies and their rocking chairs, because this kid is officially disgusted by "where the world is heading."

Misty Encounters

The last thing I want to do is turn this blog into an outlet for my frustrations and annoyances - although, that would probably result in more frequent posting - but I must vent for a few brief lines.

We have gotten a decent amount of snow over the last week. The air has been pretty consistently misty, which is a nightmare for curly-haired women like me who parade around pretending to have straight hair; but that's not the problem in this case. Allow me to tell you what is:

When it's misty outside, and you are driving in your car, your windshield gets drizzled. It happens. If you are driving behind another car, they kick up more water from the road and add to the drizzle. It happens. Neither of these things are insanely detrimental to life, nor are they avoidable, BUT my problem comes in when we introduce windshield wipers into the picture. Such a handy invention, those wipers. Too bad there is never an adequate setting for the amount of drizzle on my windshield. They are always too fast or too slow. Without fail.

If they are too slow, you can't see. Not a good thing.

If they are too fast, then they make that horrid rubber skidding sound - which, to me sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard.

So, I am forced to choose between risking my life, blinded by mist for a few dangerous seconds, and cringing from spine chills several times in a minute. These are not good options, people/person.

Does anyone feel my pain? Or am I alone in my insanity?

Ok, I'm done whining now. I promise not to write any other pointless rants for the rest of the year. Cross my heart.

More Shameless Encounters

The mall is already playing Christmas music.

There are Christmas lights up and ON at the shopping center next to my house.

I've had "Grown Up Christmas List" stuck in my head for a good two weeks now.

Christmas is coming, my friends.

We must be ready.

I beg forgiveness from all of you for what I am about to do. I've stood on my Christmas-is-totally-commercial soapbox more times than I can count. I even wrote a Sunday School Christmas play all about finding the "true meaning of Christmas" at an advertising agency and I'm about to undo it all.

Let the hypocrisy begin:

I want to introduce you all to the brand new line of Erindipity Holiday Cards! These are my first attempt at seasonal greeting cards, and I ended up with a wide variety of ideas. Some cheesy, some funny, some sarcastic (shocking, I know) and some that most people won't even understand. But regardless, they are available for purchase online or at Bradley Paper in Wichita.

I can't thank the BP gang enough for their help with this creative endeavor in my life. They are awesome and their store is filled with awesome things. I encourage you to look to them for your paper needs, and also for your stock pile of Erindipity Cards, of course.

So, that's it. Check 'em out. Here. Let me know what you think. What you love. What you hate. And what you want for Christmas.

Forgive my contribution to the downfall of this sacred Holiday. But I'm hoping a card or two can brighten someone's day or offer a chuckle or five.

If you are seeking actual Nativity cards, check here.

But Erindipity cards are here. HERE. (There's more than one page, so make sure you click "next.")

Done. And. Done.

Greatness Encounters

If any other females ever want to ride in this car, they are in trouble. You see, this soonertastic Camry LE only has room for 1GR8TGAL.

Fruit Encounters

I discovered a funny t-shirt a while ago.

It had a picture of an apple on it, and the apple has a bite taken out of it. It pretty much looks like the Apple logo, but I'm sure it's just different enough that no one can get sued. Anyways, below the apple there is a single line of text. It reads:

"My bad." - Eve

Funny, right? I thought so. But then I got to thinking about it a little more - shocking, I know - and I have decided the apple has been unduly hated for decades.

All theological and philosophical ponderings aside, the account in Genesis simply mentions a "fruit." Who decided an apple was the forbidden fruit? It doesn't say anything about an apple.

Why not a persimmon or something that mothers don't generally pack in their children's lunches? Or even a durian, which apparently is a thorn covered fruit that has a very strong smell. Doesn't that seem more fitting? Shouldn't the fruit that led to the fall of mankind be more sinister than an apple?

Whoever had some kind of chip on their shoulder toward apples should really apologize for starting an irreversible slanderous campaign against an innocent fruit.

So, there.

Snoring Encounters

It happened again.

What?

This.

I went to a movie - The Informant to be more specific - and someone decided to snore through the entire second half. Not just a heavy breathing snore, either. We are talking a full fledged wake-yourself-up-because-your-sudden-snorts-are-so-loud kind of snore.

Listen, if you want to pay nine buckaroos for a nap, that's your business. I don't have to approve your monthly budget. But I would appreciate it if you could splurge on a package of Breathe Right strips too.

Oh, and I haven't even told you about the worst part yet.

Ready?

He wasn't alone.

The snorer had a friend with him.

Wait, actually, it couldn't have been a friend, because I am certain an actual friend would have woken him up and kept him from disturbing everyone in the theater. That's what friends are for. Clearly Sir Snores-Alot was accompanied by a foe, not a friend. (Yep, I just used the word "foe.") I have no other explanation for how a friend could possibly let the person they are with be that obnoxious. A foe, on the other hand, would have reveled in the glares from the other theater patrons.

Yes, he must have been a foe. A very successful foe.

On a separate note: you should see The Informant and tell me what you think. It's different and has a crazy story. I liked it just because of Matt Damon's inner monologue. Absolute hilarity.