The last thing I want to do is turn this blog into an outlet for my frustrations and annoyances - although, that would probably result in more frequent posting - but I must vent for a few brief lines.
We have gotten a decent amount of snow over the last week. The air has been pretty consistently misty, which is a nightmare for curly-haired women like me who parade around pretending to have straight hair; but that's not the problem in this case. Allow me to tell you what is:
When it's misty outside, and you are driving in your car, your windshield gets drizzled. It happens. If you are driving behind another car, they kick up more water from the road and add to the drizzle. It happens. Neither of these things are insanely detrimental to life, nor are they avoidable, BUT my problem comes in when we introduce windshield wipers into the picture. Such a handy invention, those wipers. Too bad there is never an adequate setting for the amount of drizzle on my windshield. They are always too fast or too slow. Without fail.
If they are too slow, you can't see. Not a good thing.
If they are too fast, then they make that horrid rubber skidding sound - which, to me sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard.
So, I am forced to choose between risking my life, blinded by mist for a few dangerous seconds, and cringing from spine chills several times in a minute. These are not good options, people/person.
Does anyone feel my pain? Or am I alone in my insanity?
Ok, I'm done whining now. I promise not to write any other pointless rants for the rest of the year. Cross my heart.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
More Shameless Encounters
The mall is already playing Christmas music.
There are Christmas lights up and ON at the shopping center next to my house.
I've had "Grown Up Christmas List" stuck in my head for a good two weeks now.
Christmas is coming, my friends.
We must be ready.
I beg forgiveness from all of you for what I am about to do. I've stood on my Christmas-is-totally-commercial soapbox more times than I can count. I even wrote a Sunday School Christmas play all about finding the "true meaning of Christmas" at an advertising agency and I'm about to undo it all.
Let the hypocrisy begin:
I want to introduce you all to the brand new line of Erindipity Holiday Cards! These are my first attempt at seasonal greeting cards, and I ended up with a wide variety of ideas. Some cheesy, some funny, some sarcastic (shocking, I know) and some that most people won't even understand. But regardless, they are available for purchase online or at Bradley Paper in Wichita.
I can't thank the BP gang enough for their help with this creative endeavor in my life. They are awesome and their store is filled with awesome things. I encourage you to look to them for your paper needs, and also for your stock pile of Erindipity Cards, of course.
So, that's it. Check 'em out. Here. Let me know what you think. What you love. What you hate. And what you want for Christmas.
Forgive my contribution to the downfall of this sacred Holiday. But I'm hoping a card or two can brighten someone's day or offer a chuckle or five.
If you are seeking actual Nativity cards, check here.
But Erindipity cards are here. HERE. (There's more than one page, so make sure you click "next.")
Done. And. Done.
There are Christmas lights up and ON at the shopping center next to my house.
I've had "Grown Up Christmas List" stuck in my head for a good two weeks now.
Christmas is coming, my friends.
We must be ready.
I beg forgiveness from all of you for what I am about to do. I've stood on my Christmas-is-totally-commercial soapbox more times than I can count. I even wrote a Sunday School Christmas play all about finding the "true meaning of Christmas" at an advertising agency and I'm about to undo it all.
Let the hypocrisy begin:
I want to introduce you all to the brand new line of Erindipity Holiday Cards! These are my first attempt at seasonal greeting cards, and I ended up with a wide variety of ideas. Some cheesy, some funny, some sarcastic (shocking, I know) and some that most people won't even understand. But regardless, they are available for purchase online or at Bradley Paper in Wichita.
I can't thank the BP gang enough for their help with this creative endeavor in my life. They are awesome and their store is filled with awesome things. I encourage you to look to them for your paper needs, and also for your stock pile of Erindipity Cards, of course.
So, that's it. Check 'em out. Here. Let me know what you think. What you love. What you hate. And what you want for Christmas.
Forgive my contribution to the downfall of this sacred Holiday. But I'm hoping a card or two can brighten someone's day or offer a chuckle or five.
If you are seeking actual Nativity cards, check here.
But Erindipity cards are here. HERE. (There's more than one page, so make sure you click "next.")
Done. And. Done.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Greatness Encounters
If any other females ever want to ride in this car, they are in trouble. You see, this soonertastic Camry LE only has room for 1GR8TGAL.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Fruit Encounters
I discovered a funny t-shirt a while ago.
It had a picture of an apple on it, and the apple has a bite taken out of it. It pretty much looks like the Apple logo, but I'm sure it's just different enough that no one can get sued. Anyways, below the apple there is a single line of text. It reads:
"My bad." - Eve
Funny, right? I thought so. But then I got to thinking about it a little more - shocking, I know - and I have decided the apple has been unduly hated for decades.
All theological and philosophical ponderings aside, the account in Genesis simply mentions a "fruit." Who decided an apple was the forbidden fruit? It doesn't say anything about an apple.
Why not a persimmon or something that mothers don't generally pack in their children's lunches? Or even a durian, which apparently is a thorn covered fruit that has a very strong smell. Doesn't that seem more fitting? Shouldn't the fruit that led to the fall of mankind be more sinister than an apple?
Whoever had some kind of chip on their shoulder toward apples should really apologize for starting an irreversible slanderous campaign against an innocent fruit.
So, there.
It had a picture of an apple on it, and the apple has a bite taken out of it. It pretty much looks like the Apple logo, but I'm sure it's just different enough that no one can get sued. Anyways, below the apple there is a single line of text. It reads:
"My bad." - Eve
Funny, right? I thought so. But then I got to thinking about it a little more - shocking, I know - and I have decided the apple has been unduly hated for decades.
All theological and philosophical ponderings aside, the account in Genesis simply mentions a "fruit." Who decided an apple was the forbidden fruit? It doesn't say anything about an apple.
Why not a persimmon or something that mothers don't generally pack in their children's lunches? Or even a durian, which apparently is a thorn covered fruit that has a very strong smell. Doesn't that seem more fitting? Shouldn't the fruit that led to the fall of mankind be more sinister than an apple?
Whoever had some kind of chip on their shoulder toward apples should really apologize for starting an irreversible slanderous campaign against an innocent fruit.
So, there.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Snoring Encounters
It happened again.
What?
This.
I went to a movie - The Informant to be more specific - and someone decided to snore through the entire second half. Not just a heavy breathing snore, either. We are talking a full fledged wake-yourself-up-because-your-sudden-snorts-are-so-loud kind of snore.
Listen, if you want to pay nine buckaroos for a nap, that's your business. I don't have to approve your monthly budget. But I would appreciate it if you could splurge on a package of Breathe Right strips too.
Oh, and I haven't even told you about the worst part yet.
Ready?
He wasn't alone.
The snorer had a friend with him.
Wait, actually, it couldn't have been a friend, because I am certain an actual friend would have woken him up and kept him from disturbing everyone in the theater. That's what friends are for. Clearly Sir Snores-Alot was accompanied by a foe, not a friend. (Yep, I just used the word "foe.") I have no other explanation for how a friend could possibly let the person they are with be that obnoxious. A foe, on the other hand, would have reveled in the glares from the other theater patrons.
Yes, he must have been a foe. A very successful foe.
On a separate note: you should see The Informant and tell me what you think. It's different and has a crazy story. I liked it just because of Matt Damon's inner monologue. Absolute hilarity.
What?
This.
I went to a movie - The Informant to be more specific - and someone decided to snore through the entire second half. Not just a heavy breathing snore, either. We are talking a full fledged wake-yourself-up-because-your-sudden-snorts-are-so-loud kind of snore.
Listen, if you want to pay nine buckaroos for a nap, that's your business. I don't have to approve your monthly budget. But I would appreciate it if you could splurge on a package of Breathe Right strips too.
Oh, and I haven't even told you about the worst part yet.
Ready?
He wasn't alone.
The snorer had a friend with him.
Wait, actually, it couldn't have been a friend, because I am certain an actual friend would have woken him up and kept him from disturbing everyone in the theater. That's what friends are for. Clearly Sir Snores-Alot was accompanied by a foe, not a friend. (Yep, I just used the word "foe.") I have no other explanation for how a friend could possibly let the person they are with be that obnoxious. A foe, on the other hand, would have reveled in the glares from the other theater patrons.
Yes, he must have been a foe. A very successful foe.
On a separate note: you should see The Informant and tell me what you think. It's different and has a crazy story. I liked it just because of Matt Damon's inner monologue. Absolute hilarity.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Fishy Encounters
Did you know that Swedish fish are made in Canada?
It's true. I'm sitting here at my desk with a bag of SWEDISH fish and it clearly states they are made in Canada - not Sweden. False advertise much? I don't know why I care about this. Maybe I need to get over it, but for the time being I'm going to stew and feel cheated. It's a grey, cold Tuesday, what else do I need to be doing?
I think it's my duty to turn this traumatizing moment into a life lesson. What good is a moment of shock and disappointment if you can't learn anything from it?
Life Lesson: there are many things that ought to be questioned.
Believe it or not, this is a difficult lesson for me swallow. You see, I'm a rules girl. Always have been. Sure, I've been known to push the limits a little. For example, there were these stairs in my sorority house that we weren't supposed to use unless we had guests or were graduated. (They said something about keeping them clean and yada yada yada...) They told us not to walk on them, but they never told us not to ride down them in a laundry basket. So, being the rules girl that I am, I went ahead and cruised down in my trusty RubberMade sled. But aside from my moments of childish genius, I'm content to just follow the rules.
They say, "Don't open this door," and I say, "OK. Anybody wanna go get a snack?"
Don't swim til 30 minutes after you've eaten - no problem.
Be home by this time - fine by me.
Make sure you get this grade - sure thing.
Eat this, it's good for you - if you say so.
Enjoy these candied fish from Sweden - Absolut....Wait just a second.
While I have no intention of developing a rebellious streak, I think I'm going to ask more questions, because clearly I don't over analyze things enough...
I will, however, say one thing for my fishy friends: they have an interesting website.
It's true. I'm sitting here at my desk with a bag of SWEDISH fish and it clearly states they are made in Canada - not Sweden. False advertise much? I don't know why I care about this. Maybe I need to get over it, but for the time being I'm going to stew and feel cheated. It's a grey, cold Tuesday, what else do I need to be doing?
I think it's my duty to turn this traumatizing moment into a life lesson. What good is a moment of shock and disappointment if you can't learn anything from it?
Life Lesson: there are many things that ought to be questioned.
Believe it or not, this is a difficult lesson for me swallow. You see, I'm a rules girl. Always have been. Sure, I've been known to push the limits a little. For example, there were these stairs in my sorority house that we weren't supposed to use unless we had guests or were graduated. (They said something about keeping them clean and yada yada yada...) They told us not to walk on them, but they never told us not to ride down them in a laundry basket. So, being the rules girl that I am, I went ahead and cruised down in my trusty RubberMade sled. But aside from my moments of childish genius, I'm content to just follow the rules.
They say, "Don't open this door," and I say, "OK. Anybody wanna go get a snack?"
Don't swim til 30 minutes after you've eaten - no problem.
Be home by this time - fine by me.
Make sure you get this grade - sure thing.
Eat this, it's good for you - if you say so.
Enjoy these candied fish from Sweden - Absolut....Wait just a second.
While I have no intention of developing a rebellious streak, I think I'm going to ask more questions, because clearly I don't over analyze things enough...
I will, however, say one thing for my fishy friends: they have an interesting website.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Racing Encounters
We've had a rainy September. The sun seems to be holding its own this week, but I would say about 70% of this month was spent with grey skies and oodles of puddles for pouncing.
Last week I was riding in a car on a rainy day - not driving, mind you - and I was reminded of an old pastime of mine: Raindrop Races.
Am I the only kid who used to ride in the backseat on rainy days and turn my window of water droplets into an intense competition? The rain drops would trickle down the window and gain speed as they absorbed other little drops. They would race down the glass until they crashed into that little black rubber window guard at the bottom. My drop always won - go figure. It was very exciting.
As far as what this says about my obession with competition and victory...well, I'll let you be the judge. But I have to warn you, if you judge me, I will challenge your judgment and win.
Yes, it's that bad. Yes, I'm working on it. And no, it's not easy. But I'll make it. Mark my words. I will overcome this challenge, just like I always do...
I mean...
Aw, fiddlesticks.
Last week I was riding in a car on a rainy day - not driving, mind you - and I was reminded of an old pastime of mine: Raindrop Races.
Am I the only kid who used to ride in the backseat on rainy days and turn my window of water droplets into an intense competition? The rain drops would trickle down the window and gain speed as they absorbed other little drops. They would race down the glass until they crashed into that little black rubber window guard at the bottom. My drop always won - go figure. It was very exciting.
As far as what this says about my obession with competition and victory...well, I'll let you be the judge. But I have to warn you, if you judge me, I will challenge your judgment and win.
Yes, it's that bad. Yes, I'm working on it. And no, it's not easy. But I'll make it. Mark my words. I will overcome this challenge, just like I always do...
I mean...
Aw, fiddlesticks.
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