As "great" as the Fonz was, he was no match to the character sitting on the other side of my lovely middle seat on my 3 hour flight last weekend.
Folks (or folk), I would like to introduce you to Holly Hangover. Holly was probably in her early 40s. She entered the plane with her sunglasses on and her puka shells securely fastened around her neck. She was sporting a black tank top, a cute little skirt and some serious bed-head hair. Holly needed to sleep. She knew it. I knew it. But unfortunately, the Fonz was out of the loop.
Turns out Holly was on the same cruise the Fonz was on. It was destiny. They chatted for a few minutes about how great everything was, while Holly safely stowed her brand new over-sized straw bag under the seat in front of her. Once they had finished their small talk about the cruise, the Fonz (who was a master of the obvious) looked at Holly and said, "So did you have a little too much fun?" Holly gave him a half smiling, half "if-I-had-a-Dramamine-I-would-drug-you-just-so-you-would-stop-talking-to-me" kind of look and laid her head back on the headrest.
When the drink cart came rolling by, Holly opted for the Bloody Mary mix. Those expensive little bottles of vodka were calling her name, but her body was threatening to go on strike if she took another drink. She had been sentenced to a slow and painful death by hangover, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Throughout the flight, it became more and more difficult for her get comfortable. She was in pain, and it showed. She became progressively more and more bent over, until her head was resting on the lovely touchscreen in front of her. It was pretty funny to watch her forehead accidentally push buttons. I swear I'm not a mean person, and I don't like seeing other people suffer - but every time her head pushed a button, the picture on the screen would change and it would shine in her eyes. She was so confused and so miserable. It was difficult to witness.
By the time the plane landed, Holly's head was in her lap, and every breath she took was accompanied by a painful groan. She gathered all her belongings and her straw bag and made her way down the aisle, using every row of chairs to support her along the way. I felt so bad for her.
But I would have not even mentioned Holly if it weren't for what happened next: as she was leaving the plane, the Fonz asked if she would be on the same cruise again next year. She turned, smiled as best she could and said "Hell, yeah!" and walked off the plane.
She had had a great time. It was obvious. There's no way she was missing out another experience like this one.
People make so much sense.