Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Fraction Encounters

Well, I saw another one. Custom license plates sure are plentiful these days.

This one is a little different than the past few I've posted. It wasn't difficult at all to figure out what they were trying to say. BUT trying to figure out why they said it proved fairly entertaining.

Take a look:

Here's a few of the possibilities I came up with:
1. They have five kids. One made it to college - just barely - and they are holding their breath as the other four navigate the wiles of middle and high school.
2. The car is being driven by a hit man/woman. They are out to exact revenge on a gang of five playground terrors who made middle school a living nightmare. They "took care of" one of them. Only four more to go.
3. They watch The Office and feel real connection with Creed. Since Creed wants three chairs, they decided to up the ante and go for five.
4. They are over-zealous and instead of just wanting to win an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony) they have come up with a fifth prestigious award. Probably and Okie or something equally awesome and made up. They have secured the fictional award, now there's just four biggies to go.
5. They own a hotel and have earned one star. While this is certainly an accomplishment, they really need to get the other four. I mean, who wants to stay at a one star hotel?

I could go on for days, but I'll spare you.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Watching You Encounters

I consider myself to be fairly observant. I mean, I notice things other people don't. Mostly things that don't matter in the least, but I still notice them. This special talent can come in handy. "It's, uh, all about reading people."

But yesterday I was put to shame by a woman who observes and reports everything. EVERYTHING. I see her often and she always has the latest news. It's actually quite frightening. It has inspired a secret game I play: How long can you keep this information from so-and-so. I'm pretty good at this game. Shocking, I know. How could I be bad at a game I invented in which I am the only player?

Anyway, yesterday I left my house without my rings and my watch. It was just one of those mornings. I was at work for about an hour before I noticed my naked hands and wrist. I was thinking, "Oh well. It happens. Doesn't really matter. I can deal. It won't affect anyone else."


Last night after church, so-and-so walks up to me and says "I see you forgot your watch today. And your ring"

WHAT? How did she notice? Why did she notice? Why did she tell me she noticed? What am I supposed to say? What else did she notice? Is she going to tell people I'm not wearing my ring on purpose? This is why I sleep in my jewelry!

Needless to say, I was beyond uncomfortable and taken back. I smiled and nodded, "Yep, just rushed out of the house this morning and totally forgot them." (Shoulder shrug and walk/run away)

I have a new goal in honing my observation skills: never let your freakish attention to detail scare the bageezes out of someone else. It's not nice.