Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Prego Encounters

It seems like everyone is either engaged or pregnant. Don't drink the water, people! Clearly there's something pretty dangerous floating around in it.

I would normally ride out this epidemic with a quiet encouraging smile on my face, but the effects of this plethora of engagements and pregnancies have begun to take their toll on the youth of our church. I felt the wrath of the engagement plague within my first few months of working with kids (You can read about it here), but without a diamond on my left hand and a man on my right, I've managed to escape the pregnancy inquiries. That is until I saw Gloria last weekend.

Gloria is six. She's a spunky young thing with little control over her vocal volume.

As I was corralling children in the communion line before Sunday School, Gloria decided to try and cut in front of some of her classmates. Needless to say, that didn't go over well, so Gloria got to come stand by me. She stood quietly for a few seconds then looked up at me started the following very brief, not-so-quiet, and incredibly painful conversation:


Me: Shhhh! Um, no, I don't have a baby in my tummy.

Gloria: (louder) OH, IT CAME OUT ALREADY?

Me: SHHHHH! No, I don't have any babies. EVER. Cross your arms and stay quiet!

On one hand, the people in the pew behind us got a good laugh out of it, and the high school boys in my Sunday school class got to pester me with questions as to whether or not I had a "bun in the oven."

On the other, all high waisted dresses are officially stricken from my wardrobe.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Mower Encounters

I'm fully aware of how t.v. commercials are strategically placed to appeal to certain age groups. If you're ever home to watch daytime t.v., all you'll see are commercials for JG Wentworth, life insurance and denture cream. The commercials for prime-time target a much younger demographic and late, late night t.v. commercials are all about lonely singles. But I'm trying to figure out what the main demographic is for Sunday night television.

Last night, as I was watching Shrek 2 on TBS, I saw six lawn mower commercials. SIX. On a Sunday night. At 9:30. Is that the time of the day when married men ages 30 to 45 sit down and watch t.v.? If so, my dad has been an anomaly for my entire life. I think it would make sense if they were airing episodes of "Family Guy," but Shrek 2?

Oh well, at least I now know the different options available for my next riding mower purchase. And with 0% financing, there's no better time to buy.