Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Prego Encounters

It seems like everyone is either engaged or pregnant. Don't drink the water, people! Clearly there's something pretty dangerous floating around in it.

I would normally ride out this epidemic with a quiet encouraging smile on my face, but the effects of this plethora of engagements and pregnancies have begun to take their toll on the youth of our church. I felt the wrath of the engagement plague within my first few months of working with kids (You can read about it here), but without a diamond on my left hand and a man on my right, I've managed to escape the pregnancy inquiries. That is until I saw Gloria last weekend.

Gloria is six. She's a spunky young thing with little control over her vocal volume.

As I was corralling children in the communion line before Sunday School, Gloria decided to try and cut in front of some of her classmates. Needless to say, that didn't go over well, so Gloria got to come stand by me. She stood quietly for a few seconds then looked up at me started the following very brief, not-so-quiet, and incredibly painful conversation:


Me: Shhhh! Um, no, I don't have a baby in my tummy.

Gloria: (louder) OH, IT CAME OUT ALREADY?

Me: SHHHHH! No, I don't have any babies. EVER. Cross your arms and stay quiet!

On one hand, the people in the pew behind us got a good laugh out of it, and the high school boys in my Sunday school class got to pester me with questions as to whether or not I had a "bun in the oven."

On the other, all high waisted dresses are officially stricken from my wardrobe.


  1. Amen to this post. Everyone IS engaged or Prego. Try having not one, but TWO sisters who are pregnant. I am thrilled to the max, but do not share drinks with them, for fear it might be catching.

  2. That's too funny. You? I can't imagine. (Not the expecting part, but the looking the part part.)

  3. I'm thankfully spared questions of pregnancy, for obvious reasons, and at least children, in their innocence, have an excuse.

    However, intrusive questions about marriage from adults who really ought to know better can be a challenge. Thankfully, ordination to the subdiaconate puts "paid" to that.

    Before this, howeber, I found that, 'No. I have rabies' worked very well as a response. :-)