Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Voicemail Encounters

I have decided on a new cell phone policy:

If you call me, and I don't answer or miss your call, it would be really helpful if you would wait about 2 minutes before placing another call.

Two main reasons this should be the law:
1. Most of the time when I don't answer - and it's a reasonable hour - it's because I didn't get to my phone in time. I'm going to try and call you right back. If I get your voicemail, a possibly endless game of phone tag will begin.
2. If you try to call me more than once in five minutes, I will think there is an emergency (or maybe our favorite song is on the radio). If I think there is an emergency, I will be trying to call you. If we call each other at the same time multiple times in a row, panic will ensue. If panic ensues, my imagination will start going down the list of possible terrible things you could be calling about. If my brain goes down that road, there's no telling where it will end. When we finally do connect via magical-portable-calling devices, and you tell me you just wanted to remind me there is a new episode of Modern Family on tonight, I will be furious with you. Why? Well because you made me panic and think you were in distress. Also, because I already know about the new Mod Fam episode. How do I know? Because I love the show. Also, because Eric Stonestreet and I are friends and we tailgate together. Duh. See:

Your adherence to this new policy/law is greatly appreciated.

Please and thank you.