Monday, August 20, 2012

Moanday Encounters

Things I have learned/realized today:

1. Someone left a letter out when they were spelling "Monday." Clearly it should be called "moan-day" instead. Anyone who cares to argue with me on this should wait until tomorrow.

2. I have on my navy blue watch today. I've had it for two years and worn it about 3 times a week. I just now realized the only numbers that are missing are 2, 6 and 10. If any teenage drivers have this watch the "10 and 2" rule will be super confusing for them.

3. There are too many drugs that start with a Z sound.

4. There is a big difference between telling someone you took a Zyrtec or Zantac and accidentally telling them you took Xanex.

5. People are either freakishly good or absolutely terrible at hiding their true emotions with facial expressions.

6. If you are talking to someone who is bad at controlling facial expressions, and you get your prescription drugs confused AND you tell them you took two Xanex and it didn't help you at all, you will feel judged. Very, very judged.

Happy Moanday, reader.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Hateful Encounters

Wow. Haven't posted since April? I need to send myself to blogging summer school next year.

So sorry to go MIA on you, reader (mostly Peyton). I shall try and do better (said every person who ever stunk at blogging).

I posted quite a while ago about my disdain for the use of the word favorite. If you're using it correctly, you only get one. We butcher it all the time. Let me see if I can find it... ah ha, here it is.

Well today, let's discuss the haters.

The Plain White T's gave us all a mother-like lecture with their lyrics, "hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you." Much like your favorites, it's probably also best not to hate everything. I mean, people today hate so much stuff! People, places, food, movies, colors, cars, politics, anything their brother says... Don't get me wrong, if the color orange inspires deep emotional disdain and you can't stand to look at it, that's hate. You go ahead and hate orange. But probably most of us just really prefer a different color - no hate, just preference.

I have this wonderful dear friend who once literally saved my life, and she has this great game: The Hate Game. Basically you just say you hate things no one would ever hate. It's fabulous and hilarious. And it makes me think about how stupid I sound when I complain about small things. Here are some examples of hate game possibilities:

- You know what I hate? Chairs. Chairs are dumb. They are everywhere. And they have legs. So annoying.
- I really hate buttons. Buttons are lame. You have to like, press them all the time. Ugh.
- I hate cups. Cups are the worst. They always spill things and you have to hold them. Cups are gross.
- Do you know what I hate? Pillows. They take up so much room. Everyone has 50 of them in their house. I hate pillows.

Get it? When in the right mood, this game can turn your day around.

So, what do you hate?