Insider info on Erin: probably 80% of what I say is not original material. I'm a serial quoter. It's the truth. Whether it's The Office, What About Bob?, Waiting for Guffman, Friends, the internet or one of the thousands of people I've met who are more eloquent than myself, I love using a good quote.
Here's the issue: I am not in the habit of attributing my quotes to their origins. I'm a walking plagiarist and I'm turning myself in to the authorities. (That's you. You're the authority. It's clear that if you are somehow still subscribed to this blog then you are either impressively loyal or astoundingly bored and lacking reading material. Either way, today you get to be an authority.)
Before you sentence me to copycat prison, I must attempt to defend myself.
Here are the main reasons I don't attribute my perpetual stolen phrases:
- I want to look cool and seem funny. Just trying to be honest. I took an oath before starting this trial/post.
- People don't get or catch the reference.
Me: YOU GET NOTHING. GOOD DAY, SIR.
Person (usually a teen): I'm a girl.
Me: I know... Sorry, it's from a movie. It was a joke.
Person: Oh, what movie?
Me: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Person: Oh, the one with Johnny Depp? That was a weird movie
Me (inner monologue): Why? Why did I try to explain? What was I thinking? How in the world has she never heard that quote before? Why do today's youth have no culture? When will this stream of inner questioning end?
Person (inner monologue): ooooooooookkkkkkkkk. Yikes. (walks away)
- I've said them so frequently that I actually mentally attribute them to myself. There's that honesty again.
- It's a secret test of friendship. If someone catches the quote and either 1) smiles/laughs acknowledging the reference or 2) continues on with the next line as if it were playing out in real life, I know I have found a friend. Possibly a forever friend. How can you fight when you never say anything original? Just quote happy stuff all the time and you're set for life. Eternal friendship bliss? Check.
I clearly have realistic and healthy relationship standards.
So, there you go. I'm just putting myself out there and saying: Here world, this is my blood. It's red like yours. So love me.
