Famous Encounters

Well, thanks to Orthodixie, the little brother and I are famous!

Check out our ghosts of Christmases past on his latest podcast. (We're right after the story about the boy his encounter with a doctor.)

We used to be so cute.

What happened?

Absent Encounters

Wow. It's been more than a month since I posted on here. Some sort of update is definitely in order, but how should I present this? Hmmmm.

Poem? Poems are great but that could take a while.

Narrative? Always dangerous with a logophile like me.

List? Lists are always good.

At the risk of sounding braggy, here's a list of things I acquired over the last month and a half:

1. A fake case of strep throat.

2. Mononucleosis. Doing "nothing" might sound fun, but when you are forced to do it for three weeks, it's not. Trust me.

3. A large knowledge base of other people's experiences with mono. TMI, people. TMI.

4. A fiance. He came with a diamond ring. Bonus.

5. A wedding date. (I'm not telling. So don't ask, creepy Asian hooker.)

6. A love/hatred for the TV series The Tudors. So fascinating, and so depressing.

7. A panicky feeling because my Christmas shopping wasn't done before Thanksgiving.

8. A date with my husband and my fiance at the same time. Yeah, try and figure that one out. (hint: Michael Buble may have been in town recently)

9. A thrice-daily phone call with my mother. She is determined to be the most hands-off, well organized, non-opinionated wedding planner ever. We'll see how that goes.

10. A realization that wearing flats on my wedding day would send said mother up the wall. Who knew?

I'm sure there are other things, but I think that covers the highlights. Plus ten seems like a good stopping point. If you go past ten, who knows how long the list could get.

So, consider yourselves updated.

Boom. Updated.

Fall Encounters

I feel like everyone has fall fever. I mean everybody. They are either literally at home in bed trying to sweat out an actual fever, or driving around looking more closely at the changing leaves than the road in front of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love the autumnal equinox. I suffer from fall fever with the best of 'em, but as with anything else in life, it has it's drawbacks. For your reading pleasure, I present my list of fall pros and cons:

Pros:

- LEAF CRUNCHING. I don't live on campus anymore, so this pastime is unfortunately more of a rarity these days, BUT crunching leaves under my shoes is one of my favorite things ever. Especially if the leaves are all curled up (kind of like a folded potato chip with air trapped in the middle). It's the best.

- Jeans. I love wearing jeans. They are just so multi-functional. Fall means I won't sweat up a storm when sporting my favorite pairs that are frayed just a little at the bottom. Ah, comfort.

- Warm drinks. Again, cooler weather makes enjoying hot beverages much more enjoyable. Pumpkin this and Cinnamon that, I love it all. As long as it doesn't taste too much like actual coffee. That stuff is gross.

- Football. Enough said.

- Walks. I love strolling without sweating. It's blissful.

- Jackets. Jackets are awesome. They can totally change your outfit. You can wear the same thing you wore yesterday but with a different jacket and most people won't even notice. Plus they usually have pockets, and pockets are pretty amazing.

- Scarfs. (Or is it scarves?) They keep your neck toasty, and just like their jacket friends, can totally change a get-up. I heart them very much.

- Chili and other fall foods.

- Fall means you are getting closer to Christmas.

Cons:

- Allergies. Until the first freeze, my nose and I are not friends. Also, the top of my mouth itches. No bueno.

- With the drop in temperature, the water in my house takes forever to heat up. It's not the newest place and the really hot water only lasts for a few minutes when it's cold outside. Not so fun.

- Bye bye flip flops. My feet are claustrophobic, and fall means they have to get tucked into all sorts of closed-toe shoes. While I love my cute assortment of closed-toe flats, my feet much prefer the freedom of flip flops and bejeweled sandals.

- People start freaking out about the holidays. I love the holiday season. It's really grand. But every year the Ebenezer Scrooges of the world try to squelch my jolly spirits. Once fall arrives, they start in with their whining and worrying. It's exhausting.

- The drastic temperature difference between day and night can be quite frustrating. I refuse to turn on my heater because in the day it can be in the 70's, but at night it gets really frigid. My frugality wins out over my frozen toes, but a smaller 24 hour temperature range would be so much easier.

- Scarecrows. Don't like 'em.

- 19-year-old Trick-or-Treaters. Give. Me. A. Break.

And because I am a good Kappa, and good Kappas always end on a positive:

Fall reminds me of Manhattan and all the people there. And THAT makes me smile.

Artsy Encounters

I like it when restaurants have paper on the tables and provide you with crayons for doodling.

It makes me happy.

Probably because I'm slightly fidgety and have to have something to play with: the hem of my dress, or my rings, or my watch or something of the like. But when there's paper and crayons on the table it's like "Here, Erin! You get to be fidgety and no one will even care. You could even slaughter your fellow diners in a game of tic-tac-toe!" It's great.

The only problem is this seems to be a dying trend. All my favorite doodle-table joints are closing. I mean, Macaroni Grill is still going strong, but it's not the same. Their waiters take up too much canvas, I mean table, showing off while they write their names upside down so you know what name to yell when you are out of water or your bread mysteriously disappears. It's so presumptuous. Braggarts.

Luckily, I'm a problem solver. No, really. Where there's a will there's a way, and boy do I usually have the will. So, even though most places don't offer me crisp white table paper with sharp crayons, I have found a way of my own to doodle onward.

Condensation.

Seriously. It's amazing. Every water glass has it. It gets all over the table and then you can use your finger and doodle like crazy. I mean, you have to be a little subtle. you don't want the whole table to be wet. You also don't want the waiter to think you're five. And you REALLY don't want my mom, I mean your mom, to glare at you with one of those looks thats says, "Grow up. People are staring."

AND if you mess up it's easy to start over. The drawings don't last long anyways so it makes things even more imaginative. It's crazy to watch them fade or shrink before your very eyes. It's almost enough to make you awestruck or down-right contemplative.

It's improvisation, people. It's fun. And in a weird way, it's like you get to stick it to the man and all the fun haters in the world. All while eating lunch. Or dinner.

It's a win win win.

Lame-O Encounters

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like doing the opposite of what people expect?

Not like bad things. Just opposite things. Or maybe just different things.

For example, yesterday I was purchasing a sandwich for lunch and I paid with cash. The total was something like $4.94. I pulled out a five and four pennies, but I really wanted to pull out a five, a one, and three dimes just for fun. Or when I answer the phone, sometimes I'm tempted to say something other than "hello." *gasp* Something like "howdy," or "greetings," or "yo," or "Erin's Pool Hall. Who in the hall do you want?"

I think this sudden desire to change things up might mean I'm stuck in routine rut. It's not a bad rut. Just a predictable one. I have discovered that such ruts are a common occurrence in adult life, and this fact terrifies me.

I don't like routine ruts. They are boring. And really really lame. And they make me feel old and unexciting. Not that old = unexciting, I have a 84 year-old grandmother that proves that wrong, it's just.... blah. And I hate blah. Nothing blah is good.

Blah food = miserable.

Blah conversations = snore.

Blah relationships = lame.

Blah movies = painful.

Blah is the worst.

New life goal: avoid blah like the plague.

So, if you call me and I say something goofy, you know why. Consider yourself warned.

Maddening Encounters

What does this mean?

I hate stuff like this.

There are at least three of these signs on about a ten minute stretch of highway and I have no idea what they mean. There's not even a way to find out either. No website to visit. No date to Google. What am I supposed to do? Google the letter M?

It's maddening.

On a brighter note, there's a 40% chance of rain this weekend.

If you don't think that's a bright note then you clearly don't live in a place where it's been 105 degrees for three weeks.

Creeper Encounters

If you are someone I know, or even a somewhat normal person that happened upon my blog and for some reason continue to read it, this post is not directed at you.

HOWEVER...

If you are an Asian hooker, I'm talking to you.

STOP TRYING TO COMMENT ON MY BLOG.

I don't speak your language and will not be giving you any business, so save us both some trouble and get lost.

This blog is NOT about THOSE kinds of encounters.

Sheesh.