Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Cow Encownters

Joe and I were driving on a road trip this weekend and we began discussing what animal we would least like to be. Everyone always talks about their favorite animals or which one they would love to be, so naturally we had to do the opposite.

Anyways, I confidently answered that I would hate to be a cow. It would be the worst. I listed the following reasons I thought being a cow would be a miserable existence:

1. You would have to stand in a field all day. Rain, sun, snow - no shelter.
2. You weigh a bagillion pounds and have super skinny legs.
3. You are alive and being fed just so you can be slaughtered and eaten.
4. Flies would get in your eyes all the time and you have no hands or any way to get them off of you.
5. If someone tips you over you could die because you have too many stomachs.
6. No one would ever talk to you or pet you unless they were about to eat you.
7. People would tug on your nipples all the time.
8. You would only run because someone is chasing you with a hot iron and trying to brand your skin with their initials or made-up symbol.
9. People would staple tags to your ears.
10. You would walk through poop all the time.
11. The most famous cows are the Chik-Fil-A cows and they are only famous because they are desperate and don't want to be eaten. Pitiful.

Joe? well he laughed so hard he nearly drove off the road. I thought I made a pretty good argument, but he just found my answer hysterical. I was being serious! I would hate to be a cow.

He said he would least like to be a sloth. How boring. Sloths aren't on the menu at any fast food places AND they get to sleep all the time. Seems like a pretty sweet gig to me.

Help me out people/person. Cow totally wins, right?

(These are the things that consume my thoughts. So much better than weddings or house buying. Seriously.)

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