Courthouse Encounters

Suppose you had to go to the county courthouse the other day to apply for a marriage license.

Suppose you had never been there and you had kind of an adventure within those walls.

Suppose your adventure went something like this:

You approach a building that looks all nice and friendly from the outside, but the people going through the doors with you don't look so inclined to be nice or friendly.

You have to go through security and get your bag x-rayed and they say you can't bring any knives in, but you make it through with TWO swiss army keychains in your purse. Two. When your cousin went there they stole her deadly weapons - also known as bobby pins. But not your knives.

Again, the inside of the first floor looks all nice and clean and people smile at you. Then you get in the elevator and go to the 2nd floor, where you think the office for marriage licenses is, and you meet a delightful lady who tells you you have to go to the 9th floor. You say thank you and she wishes you a good day and you saunter out feeling pretty darn good about this place you had obviously misjudged.

But then, THEN you get on the elevator and ride to the 9th floor. And when the doors open, it's clear you have been transported to an alternate universe. You know the office where Tom Hanks works in Joe vs. the Volcano? It's like that. But filled with even creepier people. People who stare at you. Some people in handcuffs. People who make you feel tiny and terrified. And they are all in this big line that fills the whole hall. And you see this tiny sign at the end of the line that says "Marriage Licenses." So you try to sneak through the crowd and work your way toward the door and the light at the end of the tunnel - no really, the marriage license room is bright and the hallway is long, it's actually a light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway, you make it inside. There's no line in this room. There's a fairly friendly lady behind the counter who takes your information and gives you a worksheet to fill out. She makes a little small talk as you sign a paper and submit your paperwork. Then she looks at you and says "It's time for the oath." You laugh because she has to be kidding, right? Then she stares at you, totally unamused, and tells you to raise you right hand. You do it, because she will kill you if you don't, and you proceed to promise all the information you have provided is true. You also promise that you aren't related to your husband-to-be. So help you GOD.

Then you get to leave. But you can't breathe easily quite yet. Why not? Well, because you have to go back sometime in the next two weeks and pick up the actual license.

Wonder what you will see then.